Dear politicians and Americans who believe in political parties,

I hate you.

Get over yourselves and worry about the fucking country you dipshits! It's not going to matter what party is running the country when it goes down in financial flames. I don't give a shit whose daughter is pregnant or who had dinner with someone who did something bad 40 years ago. I care about the future of this country, not your highschool gossip bullshit.

Do you really think that I'm stupid enough to fall for your diversionary tactics? Really? Well then fuck you!

Please. Please, just one of you, tell us specifically what you are going to do for the people of the United States.

I'm proud of America, but embarrassed to be an American. Please change that.


Willie Turns 75... Still Ruling It!

"I've outlived my dick."

-Willie Nelson

Move Over Jesus

I guess we should start worshipping this baby Shark and basing our politics and military decisions on our new religion while smugly stating how our magical beliefs are better than "theirs".

I wonder if the three wise men were there?

In Shark we trust!

RICHMOND, Va. - Scientists have confirmed the second case of a "virgin birth" in a shark.

In a study reported Friday in the Journal of Fish Biology, scientists said DNA testing proved that a pup carried by a female Atlantic blacktip shark in the Virginia Aquarium & Marine Science Center contained no genetic material from a male.

The first documented case of asexual reproduction, or parthenogenesis, among sharks involved a pup born to a hammerhead at an Omaha, Neb., zoo.

"This first case was no fluke," Demian Chapman, a shark scientist and lead author of the second study, said in a statement. "It is quite possible that this is something female sharks of many species can do on occasion."

The aquarium sharks that reproduced without mates each carried only one pup, while some shark species can produce litters numbering in the dozen or more. The scientists cautioned that the rare asexual births should not be viewed as a possible solution to declining global shark populations....


KIRK! co-founded Billetproof, owned 11:11 Operations, art directed and designed for Ocean Pacific and Joe Boxer (before they went into the toilet), and currently runs the Goodguys Gazette magazine. When it comes to hot rods, kustoms and bikes he's too stupid to say no.